BRB DYING: Endurance Practice GIF Times

I made it through practice yesterday! Had to skate around the outside/stretch during parts of warmups, but I did all the drills, and my shins calmed down once they were stretched out, so, yay. Also, I was really motivated, because STAR STRUCK. I mentioned her fantabulousness a while back. It was the first time she’d coached us this year, and I was really, really glad to be able to participate. Allow me to explain using the power of GIFs!

How I feel…

When I hear that Star Struck is coaching:

After we’ve warmed up and she tells us all the drills we’re going to do:

During said drills:

Immediately after practice:

When I try to get out of bed the morning after practice:

Very, very grateful that Star Struck makes the time to coach us, and that my physical therapist is a gorram rockstar who figured out my derptastic body so that I could keep skating (ready, everybody? JILL LET ME LOVE YOU!) I’m so lucky to have a place in this corner of the derby world.


‘Til Death Or A Trip To The Box Do Us Part

So I asked my fellow Shire-rocker, Laurie, if she wanted to be derby wives. I did so using this video, because Brak = baller.

She said “yes!”


Laurie is the cat’s pajamas. She’s smart, and funny, and hot, and has totally boss tattoos, and hits the snot out of people. She’s super encouraging, too. Back in May, when I was all “blee blee bloo bloo I’m too much of a loser to do Bacon, they’ll be all ‘damn she sucks,'” Laurie told me to STFU and sign up. Then she gave me a ride to and from every.single.practice and continued to do so after Bacon ended and I joined PFM. She’s given me a lift to nearly every practice I’ve been to since June. Sometimes, there are morale-building dance parties in the car.

we got the moooooooooves like jagger...

When I was debating whether or not to join PFM Core, Laurie convinced me that I could do it. When I was hoping to get in shape for December Rat tryouts, Laurie said she wanted the same thing and agreed to be workout buddies. When we each got injured and ended up in physical therapy, we dragged out our yoga mats and did our PT together. She introduced me to Groupon. I introduced her to white coffee. We suffered through a core yoga class. We spent hours at A Muddy Cup laughing and listening after dancing around like doofuses at Zumba every Tuesday. (See previous gif for visual aid, but add derp.)

As is probably obvious by now, I can’t imagine derby without Laurie. She rocks. I’m lucky. I can’t wait to see what we accomplish next.

Floating Thoughts About Monday’s Scrimmage

The first several times I did scrimmage drills, I had absolutely no idea what was going on. Where was their jammer? Our jammer? Where was I supposed to be? Why was I always on the ground and why were there so many people everywhere and oh God I was definitely going to be eaten by wolves get up get up get up!

I’m pretty sure our coaches were doing this, internally.

Red Cabin (BEST CABIN) scrimmaged three times on Monday. The first time, I got no penalties, and didn’t really do anything. Rumble pointed out that she’d rather see us DO something and make a mistake than be so cautious, so I showed more initiative after that. I got three majors, so, y’know, room for improvement, but I did stuff! *fistpump*
Especially in the last two jams, I noticed that things “clicked” better. When the jammer was coming around, I knew where she was. When our walls fell apart, I could see where I needed to go to put them back together. Was I always able to do anything useful with these observations? Nah. But just being able to make them is progress, and I’ll take it. 
When I came out of one of the jams, one of the coaches (I think it was Full Nelson) asked me if I’d had fun. There being a clear Right Answer to that question, I offered a hesitant, “Yes?”
I lied, and I didn’t.
I lied in that I didn’t have fun, exactly. I’m not good at “fun”. I’m too intense, too AAH MOTHALAND!, too afraid of letting my team down. I’m unreliable enough when I’m concentrating; if I start having fun, who knows what might happen?

Which one of you blockers put my calculator in Jell-O? B3? B2? Dammit, Pivot, I know it was you!

I didn’t lie in that for me, concentrating on derby is… dare I say it… fun? Or my version of it, at least? I love the challenge. When our last scrimmage ended, my reaction was, “NOOO we’re just finding our groove we have to keep playing!” I had that reaction despite being utterly physically wiped: it just didn’t matter. My heart wasn’t done yet.
I jammed twice. The first time, I never got through the pack. I fought, but I couldn’t find the “friendly side”. Derp.
The second time, I went to the box on a low block major, which I got from the floor (LIKE A BOSS). I was released at the start of the next jam and, thanks to having the best blockers evar, made an initial pass and completed a scoring pass. I didn’t realize that, though, so when I got back to the bench, Full Nelson was all, “Nice job!”, and I was all, “Eh,” and she was all, “You got all five points!”, and I was all,


On Monday night, I had a dream that I was jamming. When I jam in my dreams, I’m all *jazz hands*


Sadly, real life looks more like this:

I’m pretty sure this is not what they meant when they sung, “We all need somebody to lean on.”

Except the cushions are blockers, and unlike the cat, I do not remain vertical. I’ma work on that.