So today I went to regular PFM practice for the second time. I found that I spent less of it thinking, “Oh God, why did they pass me out of New Skater, I’m going to die or kill someone O HAI FLOOR,” and more of it just skating without thinking a whole lot of anything, so that was cool.
I fell down a bunch today. Seekrit hint for any worried newbies out there: it is not a big deal. No one gives a shit. You fall, you get up, you keep skating. Our gear is pretty awesome, and it for srsly does not hurt to wipe out onto your knees and elbows.
Skated in a pack for the first time, did my first worm, first time of grazing other skaters and having them graze me (I hesitate to call it “contact” as we were only doing positional blocking). It turns out that this is Fun. I thought it would be Fucking Scary, and was soil-my-trousers scared of it, but I was wrong.
I only found out that I was wrong because the skaters at PFM are the best freaking people anywhere. I was skating around the rink during the Worm drills, working on skating (and particularly turning) on one (and particularly my left) foot instead of doing the Worm. I thought there was no frickin’ way I would be able to do the drill, that my stepping wasn’t good enough yet, that my control wasn’t good enough yet, that my whatever-it-is-I-lack-that-everyone-else-has would endanger someone.
When the other skaters started in on the slight-contact round of the drill, a skater named Stormy asked why I was skating around the rink instead of participating in the drill. Because I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m shitscared and I’m going to fucking cry any second, I thought.
I’m not terribly smart, but even I was able to put together that bursting into tears was not the thing to do, so I murmured something about being new to skating and new to PFM and not wanting to fuck up the drill with my epic suck.
“Okay,” Stormy said, “but here’s the thing. It would be really fucking cool if you stepped in and did this drill right now, ’cause when you get to the front of that line, you are going to feel better than you have ever felt. C’mon. Let’s work on some stuff over here.”
And she blocked me, and had me take the inside line around her, and the outside line, and skated around me so I’d know what it was like to have someone skate right-the-fuck in front of me. Then she had me join the drill. The line slowed down for me and cheered me on, and holy shit, I made it through eventually.
Not gonna lie, I feel like crying like a slapped schoolchild. Thank you, skaters of PFM, for your grace, and your kindness, and your patience. Thank you for extending your awesomeness to me, and thereby teaching me how to do the same for others. Stormy, any time you need someone to kneel at your skates and gaze at you adoringly (or, y’know, do more useful stuff, but I’m still gonna look like a puppy who would follow you to the end of the earth), holler.
The Pain Is A Lie 